All by Myself

This week, marks the long awaited return to school, for some pupils. Since the end of the christmas holidays, the majority of children have been at home, trying to keep up with their school work online. So in this house, this means, that out of our 6 children, the youngest child Josiah, is the only one returning to school full-time. 😬

After the initial excitement of getting to see all his school friends wore off, his face quickly fell and his attitude changed, when he realised that he would be the only one needing an earlier bed again. He moaned a bit about this, then he decided that Phoebe would just need to go to bed a bit early too, so that it would be fair. 😂

I asked him how he felt, that he would be the only one going out to the school taxi in the morning. He screwed up his forehead and before he could begin to say anything negative, I reminded him that he wouldn’t need to take turns at sitting in the middle. He could choose whatever seat he wanted. His taxi driver also lets them take turns at choosing the colour of lights, that light up the interior in the back of the taxi. I told him that he would be able to choose the colour every day. He smiled at this and that seemed to smooth things over for a bit.

Then he realised that it would be highly likely that his siblings would get gadget time whilst he was at school! This didn’t go down very well and at the minute I don’t know how we are going to get around that! 🙈

On the whole he has been a bit up and down about going back on his own. But on Friday he had a bit of a ‘down’ day. He woke up in the morning just feeling sad. He tried playing his happy songs on Alexa, but they weren’t making him happy anymore. He needed extra cuddles to cheer him up. It must have been bad because at bedtime on Friday night, he prayed and asked God that he wouldn’t have a ‘down’ day on Saturday!! 💕

However we try to sugar coat it for Josiah, the reality is there is no getting away from the fact that he is going back to school, all by himself, without his 2 other siblings that are still at primary school. Last night at bedtime, it all resulted in tears and sobs as he wailed that he didn’t want to go back without Phoebe and Micah. 😭 After lots of cuddles, I reminded him that he would have a good time and that if he ever felt sad, or alone, he could always pray and ask God to be with him and help him through his day. (I think a promise to the shop for a sweetie also helped his feelings too!)

I really felt for him and watching his wee smiley face in the taxi, as he drove off this morning caused my heart to hurt. However I quickly reminded myself, that he is such a sociable wee boy and the moment he sees his school friends, he will be so excited and will quickly forget his siblings are at home. However I’m sure we are going to be reminded about his predicament plenty in the upcoming days……🙈

As I’ve been pondering about Josiah going off to school all on his own, I’ve thought about the many people who often struggle with feeling all alone. These last 12 months have certainly highlighted that feeling of loneliness, for many. Whether it be because you are stuck in a house all alone, or perhaps you live in a full busy house, but instead of appreciating the company, it highlights how alone you feel inside. I’m sure we have all experienced that feeling at some time in our lives, where we have been in a really busy environment but we have never felt more alone.

The bible talks about many people that suffer from loneliness. In Matthew 8, Jesus heals a man that suffered from Leprosy. This man would have been isolated from friends and family, the whole time he suffered from this disease. When he walked around outside he had to shout ‘unclean, unclean’ as he approached anyone, as a warning of his disease. It must have been a lonely experience shut off from society, yet one day he approached Jesus as he knew he had the power to take away his disease. He had the ability to heal him and restore him to his former health, where he could be reunited with friends and family again.

In Matthew 9, a woman who had suffered 12 years with constant bleeding, quietly approached Jesus in order to be healed. In these days, she too would have been classed as unclean, because of this problem. She would have been cast aside by society, lonely and helpless trying to deal with her problem. After 12 long years of trying various ways and means to solve the problem, she decided that Jesus would be able to help her. She came to Jesus in the midst of the crowd and touched the hem of his garment. Believing that he could heal her, she immediately knew that her bleeding had stopped and that she was well. Imagine her joy when after all those years she was well and could be accepted again in society, no longer cast aside in her loneliness.

In John 5 there was a man lying sick next to the pool of Bethesda. This pool was special, as at certain times an angel appeared at the pool and stirred up the water, whoever was first in the pool after this was healed. However this poor man had lain next to the pool for 38 years!! Although surrounded by people, he had nobody in his life to help him into the pool in time to be healed. Imagine what a lonely life that must have been! 😰 However when Jesus saw the man, he healed him and made him well again!

These people all experienced loneliness in their life due to one problem or another. But when Jesus comes along, he sees them in their loneliness, he sees their problem, and he steps in and heals them. He leaves them changed forever.

The one recording in the bible that I have to mention is in Matthew 27:46, when Jesus was hanging on the cross. Alone and rejected by men as they crucified him, he then experienced being alone and forsaken by God. He cried:

“ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?” That is, “MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?”

As Jesus bore the punishment of the sin of the world, God who is holy could not look on this. He turned his back on Jesus, who for those 3 hours endured God's wrath. This was for me, for you. Jesus was born for this purpose. He left heaven, to come down to earth, knowing that he would be rejected by men and ultimately crucified on the cross. Forsaken by God as he took my punishment for all of my sin, so that I can have my life changed forever, as I now have a relationship with God.

When we experience loneliness or rejection, we can take comfort in knowing that Jesus knows exactly how we feel. He loves us so much, that he too experienced this, in order that we never need to again. Because of what he did on the cross, instead of going it alone, like Josiah felt the weight of last night, we can call out to God and ask Him to be with us. To grant us His peace and presence each and every day.

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord you God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6