Don't Count Your Chick's Before They Hatch

Last year, Phoebe decided that, for her birthday, she would like some hens for the garden. We thought she was at a good age to look after them and collect the eggs and well, with two geese already, what more work would be a few hens be? Calum set off into the basement and managed to knock together a coup for them to live in. Phoebe was quite excited by her coup and waited patiently for us to purchase said hens, to occupy it! For some reason, or another, we never did get round to getting her any 😬🙈. A few weeks after her birthday, we lost one of our geese in rather unfortunate circumstances. One morning, Micah had gone out to a gruesome find, one that I’m sure will forever be etched into his memory! As we ran out to the geese hut, after his alarming discovery, a mink stood there staring at us from over the top of the river bank, 6ft away. I’m not sure, if we decided then, to hold off with the hens, in case the mink was going to make a regular appearance. We didn’t fancy traumatising anymore of the kids. (I’m going to make that my excuse anyway for neglecting her present!😬)

A couple of months ago, with no further sight of the mink, we thought it would be nice for Phoebe, if she could get some little chicks to hand raise for her coup. She was thrilled with this idea, so some fertilised eggs were purchased and an incubator was set up in our kitchen. They were dutifully cared for, temperature set and rechecked. A plan was made on the kitchen fridge, crossing off each day until they were due to hatch. The eggs were turned a few times every day, and on the appropriate days we candled the eggs to see if there was any sign of life growing inside of them. (Candling the eggs is when you shine a bright light through the egg so that you can see what is happening inside.)

Sure enough, all 6 eggs showed signs of life. Tiny veins could be seen spreading throughout each egg. A dark shadowy area was also visible bobbing around inside. I tried my best not to show the kids my excitement, as each egg I examined looked as if there was definitely life growing inside.

A few days before the eggs were due to hatch, all the final preparations were made and we ‘locked down’ the incubator until the eggs would hatch. We waited patiently until day 21 arrived. It became the normal thing, when going into the kitchen, to have a wee look in the cupboard, at the incubator to see if there had been any changes or hear any chirping, coming from the eggs.

However, day 21 came and went. As did day 22. I began to come to terms with the idea that we were not going to get any little chicks this time. I dropped little hints, every so often, to Phoebe and the other kids, that this really wasn’t going to be successful, so that they were prepared for a disappointing outcome. But on day 24 we discovered a little pip on the shell of one of the eggs. A sense of excitement filled us all, as we anticipated a little chick within the next 24hrs. Even Calum began to show interest in the whole experience and regularly disappeared into the cupboard to watch over the incubator. A little while later he announced that he could hear some little cheeps coming from the egg too. Phoebe produced a stool so that she could sit and watch and listen, as little by little the crack on the egg got bigger. Occasionally, you could even see the shape of a tiny beak peaking through!

At some point in the evening, Phoebe announced that she couldn’t hear the chick anymore. She looked a bit worried when she said that it had been quiet for a while, and it wasn’t poking at the hole anymore. I tried to reassure her that maybe the chick was tired after all that hard work, and it was having a sleep before it finally broke free from the shell. However, as I had one last look before bedtime, there was still no noise, or movement, coming from the egg and I had a nagging feeling that it wasn’t looking too good.

Sure enough, the next morning, I eagerly went downstairs to make Calum coffee (really I was just wanting to check the egg 😂) I had a quick peek and the egg hadn’t changed at all over night. I broke the news to Phoebe that I was sure the chick had died, but told her we would wait a day or so before we would disturb the incubator, just in case. She was so upset and it didn’t take long for the tears to begin to flow. A day or two later, I checked all the eggs and none of them had been successful at all. (I think my humidity levels had been too high.)

Phoebe’s disappointment was visible for all of us to see. She regularly had 'little moments’ and some hugs were needed to see her through.

As I witnessed Phoebe's disappointment, and experienced a little of my own, I started thinking about some disappointments that have been on my mind. Last Sunday, at our online zoom service, we were reminded that this has been a really hard year, or so, for us, as a church. The disappointments that we have had, as we have lost, much loved, members, for one reason or another, has been hard. Where physical life was once thriving, like our little chick as it chirped away from inside the egg, we have lost some, who have gone to heaven, where their life is now far better.

As we are able to meet together as a church again, empty seats are a reminder of the life that once was. It’s hard. Other empty seats are a reminder of a spiritual life that once was, in a day gone by, but like some of my eggs, started off well, looked promising, but they have grown cold and hard. It’s a big disappointment.

As I did my daily reading this morning I read this proverb: “hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life” Proverbs 13:12. It reminded me that, often times, disappointment can make it hard to remain hopeful. The verse describes it well. How easy this can make the heart feel sick and weary as It’s hard not to be overwhelmed. It’s hard not to have little ‘moments’ as you feel the weight of the disappointment.

As I’ve been contemplating this blog, God brought to my mind the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel. Hannah's husband, Elkanah, had two wives. His other wife Peninnah bore him children, yet Hannah remained barren. She longed to know life growing inside her, but instead constantly faced taunts from Peninnah, that she could have children while Hannah couldn’t. Peninnah revelled in Hannahs plight.

I don't know how I would have reacted if I had been Hannah. I know I’m guilty of allowing myself to wallow in my disappointment. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of looking around at our empty seats and only seeing what once was. Seeing blessing, growth and life in other places and thinking ‘if only that was us!'

But as I’ve thought of Hannah, I’m encouraged by Hannah's response to her disappointment. When she was explaining to Eli the priest what she was doing she said:

“I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord.” 1 Samuel 1:15

Despite Hannah's barrenness, she knew that the only answer to her disappointment was to pour out her heart to the Lord. She knew that He would not disappoint her. He would hear her cries and uphold her. She asked for a child of her own and vowed to give him back to the Lord, but whether or not God answered her prayer the way she wanted Him to, I believe Hannah's trust in God never wavered.

I can choose to only become focussed on the disappointments or I can be like Hannah and pour out my heart to God, the one who has a plan, who knows better than I do what is happening, and like Hannah, I should never let my trust in Him waver.

While I've been working on this blog, I keep humming along to the old Hymn 'He is not a disappointment'. It's a line sung with such unwavering confidence, but one that I believe with all of my heart. As I face the disappointment of the last year, I will still sing it with the same confidence!

As for the plan to raise some chicks, we have made a few tweaks at home and are trying once again to incubate some new eggs. Soon I will eagerly check to see if there is any signs of life growing inside. As I continue to look at those empty seats at church, I will pour out my heart to God, because He is not a disappointment, and pray earnestly for life to fill those seats once again.