Irritating People

We all know them. Some of us are them. Sometimes more often than we think. Like it or lump it, we come across people that rub us up the wrong way all the time. They might cause you to tut, inwardly roll your eyes or even lie awake as you toss and turn in bed at night. They might come in the form of an unwanted, unnecessary, overbearing opinion or comment. An over the top bubbly sweet personality, a bad habit that just causes your toes to curl, fists clench and teeth lock together. Or it might be a dismissive attitude that always seems to feel like it’s directed towards you. Whatever it is, we are all different and I’m sure what gets under your skin is different from what gets under mine . I know which category I fall into by the way. Having 6 children really helps you see all the bad points that they have picked up from you! Listening to a child with a really bad attitude that sounds just like yourself is really enlightening lol. I am trying to work on my own flaws, please bear with me. All this is very good you might say, but what am I getting at? Well I read this wee clip a couple of months ago and it’s stuck with me.

‘God has left you a treasure map, it’s found in

the most irritating person you know.’

I thought man, that is so true.

I often see things on social media saying we shouldn't really tolerate people that irritate us. Life is too short, be happy, please yourself. For me though I shouldn’t really have that attitude. Being a christian and cutting someone off, brushing them aside or retaliating in order to hurt shouldn't really be something that is seen in me. Instead I should be more patient, gracious and be willing to swallow my pride. What is God wanting me to learn?

It got me thinking. The answer for me I felt was humility.

Over the last year or so, verses from the bible about humility have stood out to me. This is one of them;

‘If my people who are called by my name humble themselves,

and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways,

then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.’

2 Chronicles 7:14

It’s made me often think, what does it really mean for me to be humble? How do you even learn to be humble?

How often do we ask God to make us a better person, teach us humility? Have you ever prayed and asked God to make you humble, take away your pride, teach you patience and fill you with love? I know I have. We mean well making such requests, I’m earnest, I do genuinely wish to have these characteristics. But how often do I/we expect to be taken on a spiritual journey of enlightenment to humility? It’s like the quest in Lord of the rings when they create the fellowship of the ring in order to go to Mount Doom and destroy the ring. They set off all armed feeling important, prepared for a ‘grand’ adventure ahead. I honestly think sometimes when I pray such requests to God, that I’m going out on a grand journey.

Then one day, just in my everyday ordinary life, an ‘irritating situation or person’ arises and my hackles rise, pride kicks in and my strong will takes over. My stubbornness rises to the surface and then eventually, takes a while I might add, dawns on me what is happening right here. I literally cry out and say ‘God, no. Not this person. Not this situation. No way. It’s not happening. Nope. Forget it. I will never bend my will to this. After all, I’d been expecting some grand journey to humility not an everyday normal situation. As I wrestle with these thoughts in my head, I tell God if he wants to teach me humility through this person then he is going to have to give up and try something else. It will never happen this way.

Once my initial reaction dies down I can hear God softly speak to me and remind me who I am. I am His child, He is my Father, His will is better than mine. I remember the prayers I have cried out and the desire to please Him and to learn humility. I feel my own will soften and I begin to see the right way to respond. Not always, but I can thank God that it’s more than it used to be. We have a saying in this house that Calum and I often say to our kids, 'what's more important to you, being right or how you look trying to be right? God likes to remind me of this too.

I think about the quote that I read a few months ago and it’s so true. There are so many lessons I am forced to learn about myself when faced with ‘irritating people’. Any pirate story books my kids have or any films we have seen involving a treasure map usually have plenty of obstacles thrown into them. Swamps, treacherous oceans or an army of skeleton soldiers (that one is My Granny is a pirate ;-) But at the end when they eventually get to the point on the map where x marks the spot, they are rewarded with great treasure, it was all worth it. I think this quote is exactly the same. When someone or something comes into my life that I find so hard to deal with, I am forced to see the ugly side of myself. I have to overcome obstacles of pride, self-righteousness, impatience, judge-mental attitude and intolerance, to name a few. I cannot overcome these obstacles on my own strength. This is one of the lessons God is teaching me, to call out to Him, ask Him for His grace and love to fill me, that I may rely on Him. A few years ago I found myself in a situation where I felt angry, overwhelmed and hurt. I text Calum from the car in our driveway to come and sit with me whilst I sat there in tears. I remember saying to him that I could almost hear God chuckle and say to me, ‘you thought this was going to be easy, you thought you could manage this in your own strength, but I’m just reminding you that you can't, you need me.’ He was right !!

When I think of humility in the bible and what it looks like I am always drawn to John 13, when Jesus washes his disciples feet. Not just the disciples that loved Him and followed Him but He also washed the feet of Judas who betrayed Him. I can’t begin to describe the humility shown here. The grace and love that was put on display as an example to us all. Here ‘the servant King’ washes the dirty feet of those that loved Him and of those that rejected Him.

‘Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash

the disciples feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped

around him.’

John 13:5

It’s usually easy to be nice, bend my will and be gracious to those I like and know that like me. It's not so easy with those that I don't. Shame on me.

When I do see what God is asking me to do. When I humble myself and surrender my will for His and don’t react the way my flesh would want me to react. I am often filled with peace. You'd think because you've surrendered your will to the other persons you would feel weak, resentful and walked over. When in fact the opposite is true. Peace, Joy and Love fills my heart.

As I continue on this everyday journey into humility and love, I look forward to x marks the spot on the treasure map. What am I promised? A Treasure that's worth is without measure.

‘But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the

surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ‘

2 Corinthians 4:7

‘In that day you will know that I am in my father, and you in

me, and I in you.’

John 14:20

As I deny my will and self righteousness, this jar of clay (me) is broken apart and that treasure inside of me (Christ Himself) is seen and points others to Him. A treasure that I could never put any value on.

So the next time the most irritating person you know pops up in your life, take a moment, you might be like me and feel your insides groan as you murmur ‘oh no, not them’ but then ask God, ‘okay, what do you want me to learn here’, and follow that great example of humility in John 13.

‘So let us learn how to serve

And in our lives enthrone Him

Each others needs to prefer

For it is Christ we’re serving’

The Servant King by Graham Kendrick