Music to My Ears

I really love music. I get that from my Dad. There is nothing I enjoy more, than playing some loud music and getting things done about the house. Whether it be preparing dinner, baking or housework. If I’m ever needing some motivation, music is the one way to get me moving. I’d love to be the type of person that is free to express themselves through music, but I’m afraid that is only reserved for Calum and the kids🙈. There is nothing better than us all having a good old dance fest along with Calum singing to alexa as we clear up after dinner! 🎤🤣 He is very good and likes to jump between the many different ranges of his voice, soprano being a favourite!!

I love hymns, songs and certain tunes, I have many favourites. I have been known to sit on my hands during a good sing along session as I can’t sit still! In the last couple of years I have joined ‘Hope Choir’ and it has been a joy standing united with so many lovely women as we sing together of our love for God. A blessing that I never fully expected.

As a teenager, I was introduced to the Christian artist ‘Keith Green’. His lyrics have had a huge impact on me spiritually. His piano skills are something out of this world, but the words to his songs have often been heartfelt prayers of mine. His style definitely isn’t for everyone, but I highly recommend you giving him a listen.

If someone was to ask me what my favourite song was, I really couldn’t answer, there are far too many. Nor do I have a favourite artist. I love several songs from several different artists and it would be really difficult to choose just one. I suppose it really depends where I am spiritually as to what I’m listening to at that time. I have to say though, any song I share at the end of my blog has had an impact on me in some way.

Calum and I, can often be driving along listening to a c.d. and he will turn round to see a tear roll down my cheek as the words really speak to me. Sometimes I’ll hear a new song and I’ll get excited and tell Calum he really needs to listen to the words of this song. I’ve discovered now I need to let him read the lyrics at the same time as he usually can’t make the words out 😄. It usually ends with him smiling politely and saying “yes that was good”. He clearly wasn’t hearing the same thing I had. He says that he wishes he could be moved by music and lyrics like I am. But then, when I listen to him pray and hear him lift scripture from throughout the bible with a theme that is in his heart, then I wish that I could relate to scripture the way he does. We just aren’t all made the same.

A good few years ago now, I went to hear the christian band, Casting Crowns, live at a concert. It was definitely a great night and well worth the long drive there and back. The band has many popular songs, but there has always been one song in particular that challenges me everytime I hear it. It’s not one of their popular ones, nor is it one that you would sing together with a group of people, but I can totally relate to the lyrics. The song is called ‘ Somewhere in the middle.’

“Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle, you’ll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who you’re making me

Somewhere in the middle, you’ll find me

Just how close can I get lord, to my

surrender, without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence,

reckless Abandonment wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end and we

Are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences,

the god we want an the god who is

But will we trade our dreams for his

or are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat

And the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door

Somewhere between contented peace

and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle you’ll find me.”

This is me. Every part of me can relate to these words. I’m never one or the other, I always seem to find myself somewhere in the middle. I don’t think I’ve ever made it fully onto the Altar, (for a christian, the altar represents fully giving God all of you) but yet I’ve never made it out the door, to run away from it either. I know I have that deep water faith, but I wonder if it would be strong enough, if I wasn’t standing in shallow water. I want my life, my everything to be recklessly abandoned to God's will for me, but obviously, that must involve some common sense!🙄

Does this sound like you? How close can you get to fully surrendering your life to God but without taking your hands completely off of the reins. We are so good at telling God here I am, I am yours, oh but hold on, not that part, I need to be in control of that area of my life. I don’t trust anyone else but me to know my limitations there.

I was thinking of Moses. He was so sure he wasn’t the man for the job.

“ Moses objected, ‘They won’t trust me. They won’t listen to a word I say. They’re going to say, God? Appear to him? Hardly?" Exodus Ch 4 v 1 The message

He needed a bit of convincing. But once he began to carry out God’s plan, no-one can say he was found ‘somewhere in the middle’ with his faith. He would never have been mentioned there in Hebrews ch 11 :

“He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward. It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible” v26-27

What if Moses hadn’t been prepared to be recklessly abandoned to God? Oh God’s plan to rescue the children of Israel would still have gone ahead. He would just have used a different man. But the blessings that Moses would have lost out on, could never be measured! After all, he was the man that saw God and lived. Is there something God is asking me/you to do but I’m just not prepared to completely surrender everything to God?

I think of the story of David and Goliath. Here David became a fearless warrior and ran out to defeat Goliath. Why? Because he wasn’t trusting in his own capabilities, his own skills. He was trusting in the almighty God. He was not going to claim to be a fearless warrior, whilst standing on the sidelines, claiming that his God had the power to defeat this giant, but not prepared to act in what he believed. He wasn’t a man of ‘all talk and no action!’.

I think of Peter as he stepped out of that boat and walked on top of the water to Jesus. He didn’t stop and say ‘oh well hang on, wait till we get in closer to the shore and the water is shallower first, then I’ll get out and walk to you!’ His faith in his saviour was enough for the deep waters.

I don’t know what my reaction would have been in each of these situations. But I know of different situations in my life today where I’m found stuck in the middle of my faith. I long for that faith where people are called to give up everything and become missionaries in another country. That type of faith where God says ‘come, follow me’ and I leave my ‘nets’ and follow him. Don’t worry, I don’t necessarily mean I'm leaving for another country, but if he says ‘see that person over there, I want you to go and witness to them and I just obey. Or maybe ‘see your children’s future? You have no idea of the journey that I intend to take them on, but I want complete and utter trust from you, that you surrender them all to me.’ Big gulp, that's a hard one. 😥

You know that phrase we often say to someone that follows the leader all the time; ‘they say jump and you just automatically say, how high?’. That’s the Christianity I am striving for. God speaks and I follow. I no longer want to be found just somewhere in the middle.