Night Shift

Many years ago, as a student, I was introduced to my first experience of night shift. Unsure what to expect, I went off to my shift, armed with plenty of snacks, caffeine drinks and a packet of pro-plus! 🙈 As a student midwife my shift pattern would often be two twelve hour day shifts, followed by two twelve hour night shifts. Looking back it was a bit of a killer, but somehow I managed through! Later on, once I was working in a different job I still had night shifts to do, however, these were a little easier as they were only nine hours long and the workload was easier than day shift. In maternity the workload was much the same, day or night, labouring women don’t really have the luxury of choosing what time of day suits them best! 😁

If you have ever worked the night shift, you will understand when I say there is a different atmosphere during the night shift, than during a day shift.

I can vividly remember receiving a text message from Calum saying goodnight as he headed off to bed. I would check the clock, sigh and imagine everyone heading off to bed, and here I was having to wait a whole night, before I would see my bed again!! I would silently have a little pity party, in those first few hours before midnight, as I played this out in my head.

Those first few hours after midnight were always the hours I found the most difficult. Sleep would taunt me and be heavy on my eyes, as I sat there next to a labouring woman. It was always more difficult if she had had an epidural and was sound asleep next to me. The only noise to fill the room was the sound of the baby's heartbeat, beating along like a train in the background, it was enough to just send you to sleep.

Some people would often curl up in a ball during their break time and catch forty winks before heading back on shift. I could never understand how they managed this, even at home it would take me the length of my break time to fall asleep and then I would have felt dreadful heading back to work again, after having dozed off.

Eventually, I would see the sun beginning to rise. This always brought a great sense of hope. It was nearly over! Soon I would be able to say my goodbyes, handover to the new shift arriving and head to my car for the journey home!! If it was the weekend then the journey home was always nice and quick, but during the week the traffic was much busier as everyone was heading out to work and school. It was always a strange feeling knowing that they were preparing to start their day, and I was heading home longing for my bed. Alarmingly, sometimes I made it home and parts of the journey I just couldn’t remember, as tiredness crept over me, my body just went into auto pilot and some way or another I drove home!!

There is nothing quite like that feeling of climbing into a warm toasty bed after a night shift, knowing that you can fall asleep and not feel guilty for sleeping away the day. After all I deserved it!!

After we were married, Calum started working night shift as a nurse. I could often see that look of longing for his bed in the morning when he arrived home. Oftentimes, I would try and keep him awake for as long as possible, making coffee and trying to keep him chatting as long as I could. But it rarely ever worked. It didn’t take long before he headed off to bed for the rest of the day. Nothing ever got in the way of Calum going to bed!!

The other day I came across a bible verse from Psalm 130. This chapter is a favourite of mine but this time I was more focused on this one particular verse;

“I long for the Lord more than sentries long for the dawn, yes, more than sentries long for the dawn.” Psalm 130:6

As I paused and mulled over this verse it brought back to my mind all those thoughts and feelings I had of night shift all those years ago. ( I have to say, I have done plenty of night shifts since then with the kids but that just isn't the same. You don’t get to go to bed in the morning for a guilt free sleep because you've handed the kids over to the day shift. You are the day shift too!!!)

But as I thought about these sentries (soldiers) working the night shift, I thought about some of the things that made them long for the dawn. The responsibility would have been immense as they stood there in the middle of the night, on guard, watching and listening for any enemy approaching. Any temptation to doze off, would have been weighed up against the lives that depended on them, for protection. Most enemies use that time to creep up on their target, using the darkness as a cloak to help them overcome and defeat their victims. No wonder they longed for the dawn as the light brought safety to them and the people they protected. Darkness would begin to fade and the light would illuminate their surroundings to them. As the light began to shine it also brought the prospect that their shift was nearly over. Day shift would be here shortly, ready to take over, and let them rest.

I know how much I longed for the morning and my bed during my night shifts, but I wonder how much more I would have longed to see the sun rise, had the night been filled with danger to my life! I'm sure my longings would have turned to desperation, as I waited with baited breath to catch a glimpse of the first rays of the sun.

As I’ve pondered these thoughts I have been challenged by the question, how much do I long for the Lord? How often do I wake up in the morning and my first thought is a longing to spend time with God? After a busy day, with commitments and the children, do I have a longing to just sit and know God? Sadly, I have to admit that it is very rarely my first desire of the day. Usually my first thought is for extra sleep, then coffee and as I sip my coffee my thoughts are filled with all that needs done that day. After a busy day, I am often pre-occupied with feeling tired and wanting to relax and switch off from the day. How often I let so many different things come between me and the Lord.

The sad thing is that during night shift, I never let anything get in the way for my shift to be over and getting home to bed. The longing for those things were far too great and nothing was going to stop me from that need of getting some sleep. I find myself challenged that I allow things to get in the way between me and talking to God. Small things, trivial things, like the ping of a notification on my phone, social media, the news, my list of excuses could go on and on.

But as sleep is essential to us all, so is prayer and bible reading too. As I have recalled this longing for the night to be over that I used to experience on night shift. I am going to focus and nurture that longing for the Lord that the Psalmist spoke of in Psalm 130, praying that one day nothing will get in the way of my longing for Him.