The Heart of The Matter

A few weeks ago, during our Church zoom service, Calum took great delight in mocking my bed making skills. You see, Calum is a nurse. He spent three years at university learning how to make a bed. He is very skilled. I trained as a midwife. But we didn’t get to spend nearly as long as that on bed making skills!

(full disclosure - this is not my bed!)

Firstly, he pulls the fitted mattress sheet tight, checking there are no wrinkles. Then, we have a sheet underneath the duvet, (means I don’t need to wash the duvet cover as often!). Every time he makes the bed, he pulls the duvet off completely and makes sure this sheet is all tucked in, envelope corners and all! Then, the duvet gets a good shake and is smoothed out onto the bed. The pillows get a good ‘plumping’ up, then lastly the cushions for decoration are placed neatly on top. He says it’s a thing of beauty!

I have to admit, when he is at home in the mornings, it definitely makes all the difference, especially to the kids bedrooms. I just can't seem to get their beds looking as good as he does. I do try with theirs. But, when I make our bed, I pull the duvet up, smooth it over and place the pillows on top. I don’t bother with the sheet underneath. No-one can see it anyway. When we go to bed at night, he sighs at me when he pulls the duvet back, it reveals the messy sheet underneath. ‘Oh Ruth look at the state of that’ he’ll say! (My friend says he should just be glad I make it at all, quite often hers is never made!) As long as it looks good on the outside, it doesn't matter what the inside is like, that's my motto!

Some people have the same motto with themselves. They pay more attention to what they look like on the outside, and they neglect who they are on the inside.

Over the last few weeks, social media has been full of women celebrating the re-opening of hairdressers and beauty salons. Desperate to get their hair dyed, to cover those unsightly roots. Trendy haircuts have grown out of their original shape. And eyebrows? Well I don’t even understand what they do with eyebrows these days! I did, however, borrow some purple and teal dye from my hairdresser friend, for my fading colours. Calum obligingly topped them up!

I've never really bothered too much about things like that; lockdown hasn’t been hard for me that way. I was always a bit of a tomboy. There are plenty of photographs to prove that. My dad worked in Falmers (our local denim factory and shop), so I was usually dressed in denim from head to toe.

I never really wore make-up until I was in my twenties. I’m not a frilly pink person. Occasionally I get my nails done, if I’m going on holiday, but even then I can never keep them for long. But overall my looks have never been something I’ve bothered too much with. I’m not really into pretty clothes, instead, I do love embracing my inner hippie. My teenage son is mortified by my flary jeans. Anything that isn’t skinny fit is a no go for him. Thankfully though, God is never interested in how I look on the outside. The bible says, 'man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart'. 1 Samuel 16:7

God is more concerned with my heart than my looks. What is my heart? It’s not referring to the muscle in my chest, that pumps the blood around my body. But that part of me that makes me, me. When the bible refers to the heart it means, that ruling centre of a whole person, that place of ALL desires. My will, mind, emotions and moral character.

Over lockdown I have volunteered to help those shielding due to covid-19. I’ve helped bag food and delivered it each week for our church food bank. But what has been my motive? Is it my desire to please and be praised or is it for God? I can agree to doing things for others, but am I secretly moaning inside about it? Am I driven by pleasing God or by doing good for others to see? We all want to look like the best version of ourselves for others to see, but does it bother us what God sees?

For those of us that are in the habit of going to church, we can put on nice clothes, smile, be friendly and everyone thinks we look the part. People can think that I am a good Christian, but I know I’m not a lot of the time. God sees the real me! He knows my many failings as a wife and Mum, the thoughts I have about others, the comments and texts that I voice to those closest to me, my inward rolling of the eyes and impatience. It might not be any of those things I’ve mentioned, but like me you might have times when you look like you are interested spiritually, but deep down you have no spiritual desires at all. Like my bed, I’m only concerned that it looks all neat and tidy on the outside, people can’t see what it’s like underneath. If I examine my inner heart, what would it say? Am I more interested in what people see on the outside, or what God sees?

What does the bible say about the heart? 'The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is'? Jeremiah 17:9. I don’t need to look far in our world today to see the evidence of this. The news is filled with stories of what evil the human heart is capable of. I might not be capable of murdering someone (some might disagree lol) but the bible says that if I hate someone, then in Gods eyes it’s just the same as murder. I can’t say that I have never hated anyone. I certainly screamed it plenty at my brother growing up! But according to the bible it doesn’t matter whether I think my heart is good or not, The bible says ‘there is none good, no not one’! Psalm 14:1

The good news for everyone is, God can give us a new heart.

Last week, we were clearing out the ash pit, where we have had lots of bonfires recently. One of the kids found one of my good tea spoons in the ash. No one owned up to how it got there. I think it was thrown in one night, with some rubbish when we had ice cream sundaes around the bonfire. I’ve washed the spoon and it's been through the dishwasher too. It’s certainly clean enough to use again. But it has lost all it’s shine and is black in colour, it still looks dirty even though it isn’t. To be honest it’s probably going to end up staying in the drawer and never used. Everyone's automatic reaction when they pick it up, is to put it back again as they don’t want to use a dirty looking spoon.

I was thinking about this spoon in relation to my heart. When I became a Christian, God didn’t just clean up my dirty heart, leaving it far from perfect looking. He gave me a complete, brand new one, a new nature. ‘This means that anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The old life is gone, a new life has begun!’ 2 Corinthians 5:17

God is way more concerned about my heart, than making me look good on the outside. So much so that when someone becomes a Christian he takes them and gives them a completely new one. New desires, new passions, new emotions and new morals. The evidence of this doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to break the habits of the old heart. But with that new heart, God gives us the ability and power to change. The decision lies with each of us. What area are you willing to give the attention to? The outward appearance for everyone to see or the inward part that only God sees? Ultimately though, if I allow God to work and change that inward part of who I am, then it will become evident for those around me to see too.